There are some Nigerians who pride themselves in what I would simply term ‘Bad Behavior’; and most times this display is done in public. Not to worry, I will share with you some first/ second hand experiences that I had the ‘pleasure’ of viewing in the not too distant past. While most of these actions are downright annoying when experienced firsthand, they can actually be quite humorous in hindsight.
Typical across the human race and apparently very pronounced in majority of Nigerians is the selfish gene. Nigerians! We want what we want, and trust me, this is definitely not a bad thing. We just shouldn’t look out for ourselves while leaving others to feel cheated.
Here are some instances that have occurred over the last month or so:
The ‘Sharp’ Family
So we are all seating at the VIP section of an event…VIP o. And then the usher comes around distributing pamphlets at the top of the row. The method of distribution adopted was – pass on to the end of the row. Take note of this method…very important for grasping the point of this gist. So Sharp Family was seating at the top of the row and they kept passing the pamphlets…down, down the pamphlets went and each person got theirs including the family at the top of the row. Pretty simple and neat, it worked out well, no issues.
Usher comes back with bottles of water – the process goes on again, works seamlessly, no rush, no hassles.
And then the Usher comes back again, with what looked like an almost empty ‘Ghana Must Go’ bag…guess what was in there…finger foods (popularly called ‘small chops’). And I’m sure you know that method of distribution was not going to work. Mba o! The Sharp Family decided it was time to reverse the process. We take ours first, and pass the rest down. Well, fair enough, I mean, they were probably hungry and you know ‘Naija’ ushers…now you see them, now you don’t. The finger food packs finished at the person who sat next to the family. Good for them, No? Yes. The snag was, this was not your usual ‘Naija’ usher. This was a competent one. She came back, with guess what? Hot ‘Small Chops’. And you know what the Sharp Family did…they started to stylishly switch their cold small chops with the hot ones and passed down the cold ones to the rest of us. So much for VIP.
The ‘Sharp’ Neighbour
So two business owners who occupied the same office complex kept targeting the same parking spot; let’s call it SPOT 1. Business Owner 1 moved into the complex first and thought…it’s first come, first serve. Business Owner 2 was of the opinion that it was theirs since the spot was closer to their office – which was on the ground floor. It didn’t matter that Business Owner 1 had to climb four floors to their office. So it became a cat and mouse game, whoever got in early enough parked in SPOT 1.
Business Owner 2 kicked off work earlier in the day so they had an advantage. So unofficially, the SPOT 1 became Business Owner 2s’ spot. One day, months later, they are informed by the Facility Manager that there would be construction works to install carport canopies. When installation was completed, it turned out SPOT 1 wasn’t quite shielded from the elements by the canopies. And I can bet you know what Business Owner 2 did….SPOT 2 became their everyday spot. It no longer mattered that their office was on the ground floor and closer to SPOT 1.
The ‘Sharp’ Shopper
The rowdiness at The Palms Shopping Mall during the Christmas season is unrivalled. Coincidentally, like the last example, this also has to do with parking spots. I’m sure you know the story. I don’t even have to tell it…but indulge me. Signaling and waiting patiently on the right side for a car to pull out, this lady just zooms into the spot from the left side. Luckily, a car pulls out from another spot just about the same time. So we park the car and head over to the ‘Sharp’ Shopper’s car. ‘Hello, that wasn’t nice; you met us waiting to park in that spot’. Trust Nigerians to feign ignorance when caught in the act – ‘What? Where? Oh…I just saw the car there, didn’t realize you were waiting’. Hmmmm…it’s true. Her friend was nice enough to apologize and then we went along our merry way.
How can I end the article without having a Petrol station case? The ‘Sharp’ Guy trying to fill his fuel tank….I won’t even bother…you know every…
Also quite amusing is the reaction of the culprits after said act…CLASSIC: they either ‘bone up’ their faces like ‘don’t mess with me’ or have this confused look like ‘did I do something wrong?’ or start smiling like ‘you got me…oya abeg now’
I must confess I probably have been guilty of something similar somewhere in my past; I want to believe I don’t do such any longer…Hmmm. Anyway, the message to us all is….if you are one of those always feeling ‘sharp’, all ye ‘very bad sharp’ guys/ ladies out there, just ermmm….stoppp eeettttt…
Photo Credit: Dreamstime